Shere Khan's Other Average Day
by valkiriforce
Summary: Yet another crazy day in the life of Shere Khan, the 'serious business' man...


Shere Khan's Other Average Day – By Michael Jan Krizik

So Shere Khan was up early organizing his documents and getting his workspace in order to ready himself to brace a new day on the busiest work front that exists in Cape Suzette…just kidding. He slept in 'til about 2 P.M., at which point he got up and brushed his teeth then ate brunchfast. "That was an awkward meal." He said to himself. "I should probably have brushed AFTER eating brunchfast…" He had eaten a bowl of Apple Jacks for brunchfast. He was puzzled for a moment when he looked at the box that said 'Apple Jacks' on the cover; giving him a bitter reminder of his failed attempt to create a pink sweater for his employee's son named Jack. "I don't think I'll buy this cereal anymore…" He spoke to himself. He was sitting at a table in his room and across from him there was a sink and a dishwasher. He made yet another failed toss when he tried to fling his spoon into the sink, only to land a milky mess all over his carpet. "Good heavens!" He exclaimed. "Surely I can make this into the trash…" He spoke before picking up the box of Apple Jacks and hurling it towards the trash can. The box flipped upside-down in mid-air and poured the entire box of cereal all over the room. "Aw…aw man!" He slapped his knees in anger before standing up to trudge his way over to clean up the mess he made. "First the minty-cereal, now this! I know exactly what I'll do!" He marched across the crunchy wasteland he created and traded his robe for his usual business outfit. He made his way downstairs to his Windows 7 laptop computer and fired up another game of Doom. He had turned the volume up as loud as it could go; making an awkward approach for any employees who had questions for the "businessman".

The same employee who had taken an early day off had approached Khan yet again in the middle of his game. "Shere Khan! Where have you been all day?" The employee had to raise his voice to outcry the game Shere Khan was playing. "I was busy!" He shouted, with about 80% of his attention drawn to the monitor. "I've had about enough of this!" The employee quickly reached for the battery plug in the wall and unplugged Khan's laptop. The laptop immediately died upon unplugging it, which resulted in earning Khan's 100% attention. "What did you do that for!? You know my lappy dies upon unplugging it!" The employee took a brave stand facing Khan. "Just what is that thing, anyway? I've never seen anything like that around here!" Shere Khan was slightly puzzled by this statement. "Oh, you mean my Windows 7 laptop computer? I got that from the future." "Future!" The employee was taken aback by this answer. He was either trying not to laugh or cry. "Future! How can you possibly – don't be ridiculous!" He was tempted to exit at that moment, unwilling to waste his time with an immature employer. "No, I'm serious!" Khan protested. "I could tell you the whole story of how it happened…" The employee had to admit he was curious about the strange device. He knew his employer was a lunatic, but what if he really was telling the truth? He wasn't one to believe in fantasies such as time travel, but he gave it a second thought and was willing to at least listen. "Go on…" the employee finally answered. "It all started back when I had a debate with one of my other employees. I was in for some serious business…" (Flashback sequence)

Khan was confronted by an employee who demanded a raise for all the years he served Khan faithfully. "I'll tell you what," Khan answered, "If you can beat me at a game of tic-tac-toe, I'll give you a raise." "You've got yourself a match!" The confident employee shouted; he was willing to take anything Khan would dish out at that point. Khan pulled out a blank piece of paper and a couple pens for himself and the worker. Khan managed to win by getting three circles across diagonally. "Ha! I win!" He said, as he started to draw smiley faces on each of the winning circles he drew. "Gah! Take your stupid pen!" the employee chucked the pen across the desk as he made a rough exit from Khan's office. "What a spoil sport…"

Khan considered himself a tic-tac-toe master. "Boy, that guy was toast the moment he entered the room!" he boasted to himself. He thought for a moment about what he said, "Hm, toast…that reminds me. I've always wanted to make a toaster." So Khan did a little research into what he would need to construct his very own toaster. "I've been wanting to do this project for years!" he spoke. He gathered the resources necessary for the completion of his project. He even found instructions on how to build a toaster in one of his books about kitchen appliances. He was admittedly bored with all the technical aspects of constructing a toaster so he took it upon himself to complete it on his own accord. Much to his surprise, it looked as though he had completed it all on his own. "I've done it! I created my very own toaster! I'm a genius!" He excitedly danced around his desk with the toaster in the middle as though it were some kind of creepy pagan idol worship. He finally dashed up and down the stairs to snatch a couple white slices of bread to put his toaster to the test. "I can't wait to get the whole experience…" He thought to himself. He placed the two slices in the toaster and turned the toaster knob randomly to 8 without thinking straight possibly out of excitement. As soon as he pushed the toaster lever down, it suddenly sucked Khan into the toaster and traveled eight decades into the future.

"Baloney!" the employee screamed. "No, toast." Khan corrected. "What? No, I mean your story is clearly made up!" the employee further corrected. He upped and nearly left the office before Khan insisted there was more to the story. "Wait, I was just getting to the good part!" "You can't seriously expect me to believe you made a time machine out of a toaster!" "It was an accident," Khan spoke, "I intended to make a toaster, but somehow by not following the instructions precisely, I bridged a gap in time to another place." Khan's employee was still insistent upon leaving until he heard Khan's proposal. "I'll give you a raise if you just listen to my story!" The employee frowned, "Am I gonna have to play tic-tac-toe for that as well?" "No, honest! Just listen to my story and I'll give you what you want." Finally, the employee sat down wearily. "This is going to be a long day." He thought to himself.

So Khan had somehow transported himself eight decades into the future via a toaster appliance gone wrong. He wandered aimlessly in this strange, new world. "What in heaven's name just happened?" He spoke aloud, not caring if anyone heard him. He was in a city square where all the cars looked different and everything appeared busier than it ever was before. He looked down to see the toaster sitting on the concrete with two burnt pieces of toast. He picked them up out of the toaster and immediately they crumbled into ash. "Aw man! I hate burnt toast!" Khan brushed his hands free from the debris. He thought to himself as he looked around, "I must have traveled in time to the future!" He shifted his gaze back to the toaster again, "All I wanted was toast…"

Khan stood at the corner of a street light and asked someone walking by if they knew where he could find a newspaper. "PFFFT! Who reads the paper anymore? Don't you have an iPhone?" The rude civilian passed Khan by. "Well, I never!" he walked off by himself, muttering about the time-traveling toaster he carried with him. He finally happened upon a sign on the outside of a market. It read in big red letters, "SALES LAST UNTIL 2011" considering it was near Christmas season, he figured he must have been transported to 2010.

The employee listening to the story sighed. "How much more of this story is there?" "Just be patient! I'm getting to the good part, my goodness!" Khan insisted once again.

So Khan was wandering around, wondering where he could plug his toaster in. He noticed there were several Starbucks coffee shops all around the place so he took that as a sign to look inside. "Smells like coffee in here!" he exclaimed, "I prefer hot chocolate…" So he saw there was an area where people had their Wi-Fi laptops hooked up and ready to go. He went and sat at an empty table and plugged his toaster oven in. "It's a good thing I stashed a couple extra slices if white bread in my coat. You never know when you want toast…" So he put them in the toaster oven, when suddenly a customer came up to him with his laptop. "Hey there! You brought a toaster oven to Starbucks?" "Why, yes I did." Khan answered simply. "Most people just bring a laptop" the customer spoke, making his place at home sitting near Khan's toaster. "A laptop?" Khan said, "What's a laptop?" The customer was baffled by his response, "Don't tell me you don't know what a laptop is! It's a portable computer, of course!" Khan realized again that he was at a different time, so he tried to act like he knew what he was talking about. "Ah, yes of course! I do know what computers are, but usually I just like to stick with my toaster oven." "…I do love toast" The customer responded. Khan smiled when he heard the customer say this. "Why, me too! Sometimes I wonder why the world doesn't have more toast…" So they had a friendly conversation about toast for a good hour or two.

Khan suddenly remembered his objective to return back to where he came from, so he concluded the conversation. "I wonder if one day they will send toast into space…" "Hahaha! You're weird." The customer was quite pleased having a conversation with Shere Khan. "Well, I better be going now. I'm just going to stop by the restroom before I go. I'm going to leave my laptop here; guard it with your life." So he quickly made his way out of Khan's sight. Khan, however, took the guarding of the laptop the wrong way. He hid the laptop in his coat with the plug and shoved the two slices of bread in the toaster. "Now how do I make this take me back?" He questioned himself. "Ah! I turned the dial to eight! So I'll just turn it the other way…" Khan turned it all the way back as far as it could go, then he pushed the toaster lever down again and flew back in time.

"…And that is how I came about this strange device. I eventually got used to using it, but I can't go on the internet because that hasn't been invented yet…" Khan's employee was still in doubt about all this. "Whatever happened to the toaster you made?" he asked. "Oh, the time traveling toaster? I reconstructed it to make toast properly, but I think I accidently created a rocket instead because it blew a hole in my roof and flew off into the moon. I noticed the moon had at least one more crater the night after it happened…" Khan's employee had just about enough of Khan's nonsense at this point. "All right, I heard your story, can I get a raise?" Shere Khan looked up with delight, "Sure! Your new payday begins next week!" The worker jumped up from the chair in excitement, "Wow, thank you, Mr. Khan! You won't be disappointed!" He quickly darted his way across Khan's office to take the elevator down. Khan pulled out his employee's salaries and added to his paycheck an additional $00.1. "Heheheh, sucker…" Khan said foolishly.

It was another long day in the office for Khan, so he wrapped up the paperwork and put them away. He went upstairs to his room, only to stumble into the crunchy mess that was Apple Jacks that lay all over the bedroom. "Aw man! When will I stop being reminded of that stupid pink sweater I made?" He decided to hockey the apple-flavored hoops under his bed as he dashed under the covers and called it a night. "Note to self: remember to brush teeth AFTER eating brunchfast…"


End file.
